Christians are straight up FREAKS
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
