Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
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Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
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Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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