quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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