And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
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