How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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