please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
