I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
