My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize