should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
My breasts were aching with rage.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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