she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
My vagina just recognized that song.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
