Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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