I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃