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Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
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