We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
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I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
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Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.