Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?