You just made me feel so damn special
I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
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