Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
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