I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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