New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Randomize
