Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Fuck appropriateness.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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