I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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