i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Randomize
