The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Randomize
