dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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