we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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