I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
