i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
17 year olds will be the death of me.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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