Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
