wrigley field is MILF paradise
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
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