I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
