The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
