Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Randomize
