Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Randomize
