I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
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