My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
