Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I'm sobbing to NWA
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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