From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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