This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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