Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
