yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
