i don't plan on having that self control this summer
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
