you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
