The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Randomize
