im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
