Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
