We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize
