I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Randomize
