He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Couch. On fire.
Randomize
