life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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