I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
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Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize