Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Randomize
