Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
and you fell through a lawn chair
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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