Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I have so many feelings about this burrito
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Randomize
