It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
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