there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
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Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
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Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
I currently don't understand fingers.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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