I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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