now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
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