hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
