I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize
