I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
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