before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I can't turn off my feet"
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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