What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize