He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
