they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
