She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
